A few weeks ago, The Boy and I were having a discussion about Leading a Deliberate Life. This is not going to be a post all about money, but to get an understanding of what he was talking about, here's one of the examples he gave to me to about finances (something we are both interested in learning more about. It is never too early to re-evaluate your retirement savings plan). "It's not enough really that I set up automatic payments, so I know everything is getting paid. Then I'm not paying attention. I want to know what money is going to whom for what. I am making a deliberate, conscious decision to understand and know where this money is going to." Now, if you are like me and are bad at remembering bills, you might argue that it gets paid either way, whether you are taking the time to go through the bill yourself or making automatic payments. But it is the act- the
deliberate actions- that to The Boy was making the difference. It was this sort of thinking- wanting to be deliberate and active in his choices- that he was talking about wanting to apply across the board in all aspects of his life. Finances, eating habits, exercise, relationships, and work and time management. This isn't to say that he or I are no good at any of these things, but it can be easy to let things just happen, to slip into auto-pilot, even if only for some little things. We discussed ways to be more deliberate, and honestly, I thought that'd more or less be the end of it. We'd make these changes and some would be harder and some not, and that it'd be what it would be.
Well, Being Deliberate just got a whole lot more necessary.
I went into the doctor's office last week, thinking I had some minor infection or bug. Not any big deal, and I'd debated stoping by the open clinic at all or riding it out. Ten minutes in the doctor's office and I was being told I had Type 1 Diabetes (sometimes called Juvenile Diabetes, or Insulin-Depended Diabetes). Obviously, this is why I've been MIA the previous week; the next few days were doctor's visits.
Let's preface this by saying, there are a whole lot worse things one can be told in a doctor's office, harder diseases or conditions to be living with. But it
is something that is going to constitute some pretty major life-changes. It doesn't
look, on the outset, that hard really. In many ways, the best ways to manage Diabetes seems to be healthy living- eating balanced and nutritious meals, and daily exercises, plus all the healthy appointments you are supposed to do but people totally don't always make (c'mon. You have
always gone to the dentist twice a year? What insurance do you have?). Well, and the insulin. And the testing your blood. Four times daily. But it is all with a slight twist- healthy for diabetes isn't the same as for everyone else. And it precludes almost all of my favorite foods. I love bread, and pasta, and dairy, and beef, and (though not healthy) beer and sweet things. Even fruits and veggies are things to be careful about! It's not that I can't have any, exactly, so I probably shouldn't be bummed, but
very regulated. Well, let us say "all things in moderation" if we want to be positive. But let me tell you, food and I are having a very complicated love-hate relationship at the moment. I miss feeling in control of such things, of being able to choose what I want to eat, when I want to eat it.
And, beyond food and other such things, there will be other changes and things to consider down the road.
The thing is- the silver lining- is I can choose to think of it as a way to be deliberate in my actions, to live a more deliberate life.
I only found this out two weeks ago. Obviously, I don't know all there is to know about living with this disease. And in a similar vien, I ask that you be kind in your comments. Though I am happy for them, stories of others' success in living with diabetes (or other conditions), and/or advice are not particularly desired at this time. I debated even mentioning this here, but ultimately decided that for a personal style blog, the
personal- the honesty and the vulnerability of everyday life- should come into things. I am sure the trust placed in you will not go unrewarded in your kindness towards me and towards other readers.
P.S. I am very lucky to be doctoring in the right place though. The Billings Clinic is a Mayo partner, and number 5 in the country for diabetes treatment. With luck, I will take what I can get!
I've been thinking of you! I think you bring up a great point about deliberate choices in our lives. Autopilot seems to come naturally sometimes, so you've given me some great food for thought :)
Reply DeleteThanks Katie. Also, glad to have given food for thought :)
DeleteBeing told you have any sort of disease is devastating but it seems like you handled it really well and I found this to be very inspirational :)
Reply DeleteJordysBeautySpot.com ♥
Thanks Jordy.
DeleteBy the way, stopped by your blog. You seem very knowledgable about make-up!
So I've never actually commented on your posts (sorry!) but I do read them. I figured what better post to comment on...I'm a type 1 diabetic too. I have been for...almost 28 years now. AND...I'll be 29 in a couple of months. So yeah...a long time. If you ever have any questions or just want to vent about it or heck rave about a good week or day you've had. Please don't hesitate to contact me. It's a hard thing, I won't lie, and you'll have bad days and really great ones. I still have issues regulating my blood sugar and I am always worried about the effects it is having on my body...and the negative things that go hand in hand with diabetes. It's a day by day thing...but at least you've been diagnosed and are dealing with what comes next. Like I said...please feel free to shoot me an email and I can give any of my stories or lessons that I've learned and are still learning. (And FYI - you will now be extremely annoyed when people mix up or assume Type 2 IS diabetes because it's what is talked about so much...)
Reply DeleteJenna
PS - my email is thatgaljenna (at) gmail (dot) com
DeleteThank you Jenna (also, this on top of all the heart stuff? You are one amazing lady!)
Delete:)
DeleteWow.. yeah, that must have come as quite a shock! I think your attitude toward it is commendable. From what I understand, it is totally manageable and, you're right, it is an opportunity to take a more active role in changing your life for the better. You have my support! <3
Reply Delete- Anna
Thanks Anna.
DeleteI've definitely been thinking of you too ever since you told us! I'm glad that it's nothing even worse, but I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this and make those changes. I hope you're handling it okay and we're all here for you!
Reply DeleteThanks Elana. The community I've met while blogging has come to be very valued, so I appreciate that!
DeleteAww thanks for sharing this with us Kristian! This was definitely a well thought out post and I really like how you went about it. The big changes are not going to be easy but its great that you have a good outlook on it all. I actually have been doing 30 days of very deliberate clean eating, and have found some great substitutes for what I normally love to eat, and also downloaded a free app to help me track what I eat every day- I think its really helpful to see it all laid out! I have cut out wheat, dairy, sugar, and processed foods. Have you ever tried Spelt bread? That is what I have been using as a wheat replacement!
Reply DeleteAnyway, I am wishing you the best of luck girl!
xo Hannah
I'll have to check the Spelt bread out; I've never heard of it. We got some Dream Feild pasta that is suppose to be low-carb (and gluton-free), but haven't tried it yet. What is the name of the app you have been using?
DeleteThank you too, Hannah.
This has to be a big shock to you I'm sure.
Reply DeleteDealing with the changes that life brings us really forces us to live deliberately if we want to or not. I think it gives us a good shake to make sure we understand that life is fleeting and we need to be aware of that fact.
I'm sure you will need a while to adjust to your new reality.
Take the time you need. We will be here for you.
bisous
Suzanne
Very true, and thank you Suzanne.
Deletewow, first of all, sending you love. Second, thanks for sharing with us. I'm so happy that you seem to have a fairly positive outlook on everything. sending lots and lots of love and good vibes your way my dear.
Reply DeleteThank you, Nicole.
DeleteThank you for posting this--I think you have a really positive outlook about everything that's come your way lately. I recently got some diagnoses of my own, and I'm so glad I stumbled across your post to read.
Reply DeleteAlso, I don't know much, but if gluten-free is helpful, this pasta is amazing http://www.nantucketpastagoddess.com/pages/pasta1.html
I've been trying to eat less gluten to see if it helps with anything, and I had no idea this wasn't typical pasta until my friend told me.
Anyway, I'm sure you're getting info overload right now...just wanting to say I'm glad you went ahead with the post.
-Emma from little motley
I actually just ordered some low-carb/gluten free pasta. Will have to go check if it is the same brand. A good sign if you didn't realize it was any different. Thank you.
DeleteI'm impressed with your courage, Kristian.
Reply DeleteRachel
Thanks, Rachel.
DeleteI really love your positivity Kristian, as I know making major changes to adapt to a health condition can be a disheartening thing. I had to as well when I was 18 (a neuromuscular disease) & to be honest, sometimes I have the tendency to still get down about it. You have such a great outlook here - it's encouraged me to say the least. Thanks for posting this. <3
Reply DeleteAs you indicate here, sounds like such health conditions and our reactions to them can really fluctuate, but we are definitely trying hard to be positive. Thanks Marisa.
DeleteWow. Really? That's so crazy - and indeed, it will be a change in your life, but thankfully it's a familiar disease with so many good solutions. My friend in college had Type 1 diabetes and my dad has Type 2. Both have very different things and different ways of handling it. Moderation is a big part. My dad is completely diet controlled. I have a sugar free, flour free (almost carb free) brownie brittle recipe I made for my dad. If I can get my mom to reshare it with me, I can get it to you. There are lots of things to cook - you might get more into cooking good meals for yourself! :D I love that you are staying positive and open about this though, like Marisa said.
Reply DeleteMore recipes to try are always good, Katherine. Thank you :)
DeleteI love you! Way to share this positively. hugs
Reply DeleteHugs back!
DeleteThinking of you! I know this may seem like such a rough and weird time - health concerns usually do that. Stay strong and positive; it will all work out in the end!
Reply Deletexoxo,
Laura
http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/
Thanks Laura. Will try to.
DeleteHattitude Style Blog
Reply Deletei have diabetes too. hard at first, but it gets better! let me know when you want to chat about it! we can be diabetes fashion blogger supporters! haha
talk soon wild child
-Hattie
Hattitude Style Blog
Thank you Hattie. I will probably be taking you up on that to ask some questions :)
Delete